18th January 2009, Sunday
Here I come, the complicated one again... Do not know what is wrong with me.. Combination of complicated emotion & feeling.. feeling gain, feeling lose, excitement, disappointment, happy, frustration... Argh... Not again..
Spoken to my colleagues this evening.. seems like i really got the rental for bishan unit extremely expensive.. Actually I knew it was expensive, but i think i would rather to pay more for the convenience.. I mean, i am far from home, why not stay with someone that i know for long, and i can trust? well.. or i just shouldn't think so optimistic on this friendship.. But, why not?
Aiks... many consideration been taken into account.. i know the main problem is because i have been pampered in family and just cannot bear with certain restraint.. So, it seems like I just have to bear with it!!! To lower down my requirement to work within my budget? Hm.. have thought of it though.. but still.. I just cannot get over it.. I need the secure feel!!! Staying with stranger?? Hm.. NO NO NO...
Is this the only way out?? Certainly not.. But this is just the consequnces of my decision that i have to complete.. One make the decision, no matter what are the consequnces, one have got to bear with it, right? Further more, this is just the process, the fruits has not mature. But who can guarantee on the fruitful outcome? I do, and I should.. I better hang on with it.. Coz I am suppose to believe on my beliefs.. haha..
Is getting confusing.. But also getting relief on my emotion.. I am glad that i have a place for shouting out.. Argh.. I deserve what i have done, dont i??
Here I come, the complicated one again... Do not know what is wrong with me.. Combination of complicated emotion & feeling.. feeling gain, feeling lose, excitement, disappointment, happy, frustration... Argh... Not again..
Spoken to my colleagues this evening.. seems like i really got the rental for bishan unit extremely expensive.. Actually I knew it was expensive, but i think i would rather to pay more for the convenience.. I mean, i am far from home, why not stay with someone that i know for long, and i can trust? well.. or i just shouldn't think so optimistic on this friendship.. But, why not?
Aiks... many consideration been taken into account.. i know the main problem is because i have been pampered in family and just cannot bear with certain restraint.. So, it seems like I just have to bear with it!!! To lower down my requirement to work within my budget? Hm.. have thought of it though.. but still.. I just cannot get over it.. I need the secure feel!!! Staying with stranger?? Hm.. NO NO NO...
Is this the only way out?? Certainly not.. But this is just the consequnces of my decision that i have to complete.. One make the decision, no matter what are the consequnces, one have got to bear with it, right? Further more, this is just the process, the fruits has not mature. But who can guarantee on the fruitful outcome? I do, and I should.. I better hang on with it.. Coz I am suppose to believe on my beliefs.. haha..
Is getting confusing.. But also getting relief on my emotion.. I am glad that i have a place for shouting out.. Argh.. I deserve what i have done, dont i??
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