The story of benjamin begin here...

Everything happen so fast...

i was expecting for benjamin to come to my world, and now, here he is..

at time, i was so uncertain about what's going to happen.. how will benji look like... will he be healthy. bla bla bla.. and now... here he is, sleeping beside me...

on the 28 jan 2010, i slept early... i wanna be sure that i have enough sleep so that benji will see her pretty & fresh look mama when he come to this world..

29 Dec 2010, Alvin and I reach hospital at around 530am. After the admission, we proceed to the ward. measure blood pressure, shaving & changing clothes... I absolutely feel relief when the nurse said I can waive the enema because of the low lying placenta!! Finally, the placenta previa has done 1 good thing for me!! hahhaha..

and then they push me to the operation room... alvin is not allow to come in with me.. i see the fear from his expression. He definitely scare that something will happen to me.. and gladly, after short while, i saw my lovely gynae.. Dr. Lim.. He is definitely the best gynae I have ever met so far!! He is caring, patience and super intelligent! With the presence of the witness and nurses help, the anesthetist start doing the epidural for me.. I have to say, it wasn't painful.. but uncomfortable either..

after a while, the nurses get alvin into the operation room. Dr Lim cut my belly within minute... I din realize that the operation has began until I saw alvin expression change in no time.. And It was absolutely fast.. my operation started around 720am.. and I hear benjamin's cry at 738am! How could I don love Dr. Lim?? according to alvin, he is very steady and was chit chating with the nurses and anesthetist during the operation too.. and I swear, I did not hear the "king king qang qang" sound... It was purely doctor talking only..

My tears drop when the nurse bring benjamin to me.. he is so lovely... and healthy.. and chubby cheek... I will not forget the moment.. I feel my life complete when i kissed him on his cheek... Then Alvin left the operation with the nurse for Benjamin's cleaning and admission..

Without alvin and Benjamin beside me, I admitted that I started to fear and I think i feel the pain.. muahhahha... I know, i know.. this could be my imagination.. but it is ok.. it is all worth it.. I have Benjamin now.. (^.^)

I have to say it again, Dr Lim is extremely an experience doctor.. the operation completed by 810am.. (or earlier??) don ask me how he do it. He did it... and there is no excessive blood lost as expected! I have no regret that I have to spend more for delivering in Singapore!!! He gave me lots lots of courage and professional consultation throughout my pregnancy..

我真的要生孩子了。。

说了一个月， 又一个月。。。

我是真的要生了。。。 终于。。。

现在我的肚子真的很大个！！很辛苦～～～

我很不能想象， 那些肥胖的人。。 挺着那么一大粒的肚皮， 难道他们都不会辛苦吗？ 都不想减肥吗？

腰酸背痛 （痛苦， 也痛哭。。。）

晚上睡觉， 不能平躺， 会窒息。。。 -.- 会呼吸困难啦～～

侧躺， 也因为肚子太大， 压到我得左脚， 脚痛。。。

躺下就很难起身， 像一只大水牛。。。

吃东西，不可以吃太饱， 肚子会痛。。

很容易累， 也很容易想睡觉。。。

肚子的裂痕， 像火车路一样， 一列一列。。 一排一排。。

明天， 就是我大着肚子的最后一天了！

我想， 我会怀念这些日子的。。 不过， 我现在比较期待看到我儿子的诞生！！

(^o^)

我有40寸"小蛮腰“

上个星期， 我的小蛮腰是39寸。。 -.-||

整个星期， 我的肚皮都很痒。。 涂了很多很多 anti-stretch mark cream 都没
办法完全止痒。。

今天， 突然心血来潮， 想说， 可能肚子有39.5寸了吧。。。

-.-||| 40 寸！！！

很难跟别人说我的腰是小蛮腰。。 （其实， 一直都没有过小蛮腰...)

不过， 这真的解释了， 为什么--- 肚皮很痒。。。

宝贝， 你可以长大， 不过， 老娘求求你， 乖乖待在肚子里就好。。 别急着出
来。。。

Now only I realized...

I have been complaining about backache and stomachache for the past 2 weeks...

I thought backache was due to bad sleep, too tired and stress (I have been worrying a lot 有的没的 recently..)

stomachache could probably due to stress and non consistent meal... (even though I have been munching between the meal time), or could it be caused by the supplements that I have been taking??

In fact, I had a very bad one last night.. i had the supplements at 11pm, and couldn't sleep until 12am.. wake up at 2am still feeling the stomach 鼓鼓的, 涨涨的.. went to the toilet but it doesn't help much. I manage to sleep at 3am after a glass of milo with plenty plenty crackers.. I thought it was due to gastric pain (I forgot that i don have gastric -.-)

After talking to ai may today.. I finally understand that those were the sign of contraction pain!!!!

Gosh! I should have ask the gynae last week.. now i am even more kan jiong.. does it mean that benjamin is coming out anytime? Luckily benjamin din decide to come out last night, when i was in JB! phew~~~

it's only week 36 now.. benjamin lee, u better be good boy and stay in mummy's belly for another 2 week.. don give me a heart attack.. be good boy, promise??

Argghh.. backache again....

Count down time...

There is nothing much that i can do already...

Everyday wake up and count down only..

I used to count down to christmas day in Dec...

Now I wish I can spread my focus to Christmas day.. which I cant.... -.-

I am getting more like a pig now. eat, sleep shit...eat sleep shit... even working days i will rather to take a short nap than to take my lunch...

hope that my condition will get better soon...

Meantime, pray hard hard that benjamin will guai guai stay in my belly until end Dec!!

Stress...........

I have no confident to handle the stress any further!!

Coming to the last month can be so miserable.. This is so unlike what the pre / post natal book has described.. Rest and relax to get prepare for the delivery moment... =.=||

The story began like this......

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My dearly uncle told me that once I feel like "shitting", that's it! That's the TIME!! Gosh! now i have come to the stage that i thought i am delivering; whenever i feel like "shitting"!!!

Last night i got stomachache.. it was so painful that i have never experience before... I swear at that moment i was about to rush to the hospital! shit! it was 1030pm! i really don want to go into the hospital as emergency case.. Then my hospitalization bill will increase from S$7k to S$17k!!! (according to me experienced uncle again)

Luckily it was just gas in my stomach.. the hub was saying that i did not take proper meal.. hell him! i don know what is consider "proper meal" to him!! beer during dinner time & supper at 11pm? F***! i have no idea how he can judge me like that while he took totally unhealthy meal!

PLUS, doctor says i got healthy weight gain! and my baby is growing healthy in my expanding belly........

It is getting nearer to the day.. Honestly I never thought that i will come across so much stress thinking of benji's health during/after delivery.. I know i gotto be positive thinking.. But I just cannot help myself from thinking "what if...." !!

I need help!

I need consultation!

Am I leading myself to port natal depression?? or my depression has already started??