I am fine!!

19th August 2009, Wednesday

I am fine.

I have realized that, repeative failure can actually helps to immune one's feeling.

When I fail achieving my target for the first time, i curse.. for the 2nd time, i was upset with myself, 3rd, 4th, 5th times... eventually i will tell myself, it is ok, this is not the first time.. One day i will finally fix it up.

When i put on weight for the first 0.5kg, i will tell myself -- it is ok, it is just half kg, it is not significant, and the fats should be able to cut off easily. When the 2nd 0.5kg fats appear, i said : Lilie, you should seriously cut down your junk food intake!! When the 3rd, 4th 5th etc etc 0.5kg turns up quietly, i have no choice but saying : lilie oh lilie, you are fat, but those elderly says you look better! So, don worry about it!Be happy with the way you are! why bother how others think about you?? Live happily!!

Similarly, when one hurts me for the 1st time, i forgive; for the 2nd time, i was angry, but yet i forgive; for the 3rd time, i was mad, still i forgive... When it comes to the N times, i am immune to it. Well, this is not the first time, probbaly it wil be the last time, I told myself. However, when it comes to the NxN times, i decided to give up, like i gave up on other things. Hm.. It doesnt feel so hard that i thought.. opps, i almost forgotten, i was immune to it through out the process.