许多的无奈， 言语无法形容。。
我爱的人， 却已经是离我最远的人。。
幸福离我那么地遥远。。
想怎样? 强抓着不属于我的快乐吗?
是爱得不够吗?
为什么那么轻率地伤害?
为什么要原谅却又那么难?
心里真的很难过。。
但， 已经习惯了一个人舔伤口。。
现在才知道。。
原来， 我真的不是一个那么坚强的人。。
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
I am fine!!
19th August 2009, Wednesday
I am fine.
I have realized that, repeative failure can actually helps to immune one's feeling.
When I fail achieving my target for the first time, i curse.. for the 2nd time, i was upset with myself, 3rd, 4th, 5th times... eventually i will tell myself, it is ok, this is not the first time.. One day i will finally fix it up.
I am fine.
I have realized that, repeative failure can actually helps to immune one's feeling.
When I fail achieving my target for the first time, i curse.. for the 2nd time, i was upset with myself, 3rd, 4th, 5th times... eventually i will tell myself, it is ok, this is not the first time.. One day i will finally fix it up.
When i put on weight for the first 0.5kg, i will tell myself -- it is ok, it is just half kg, it is not significant, and the fats should be able to cut off easily. When the 2nd 0.5kg fats appear, i said : Lilie, you should seriously cut down your junk food intake!! When the 3rd, 4th 5th etc etc 0.5kg turns up quietly, i have no choice but saying : lilie oh lilie, you are fat, but those elderly says you look better! So, don worry about it!Be happy with the way you are! why bother how others think about you?? Live happily!!
Similarly, when one hurts me for the 1st time, i forgive; for the 2nd time, i was angry, but yet i forgive; for the 3rd time, i was mad, still i forgive... When it comes to the N times, i am immune to it. Well, this is not the first time, probbaly it wil be the last time, I told myself. However, when it comes to the NxN times, i decided to give up, like i gave up on other things. Hm.. It doesnt feel so hard that i thought.. opps, i almost forgotten, i was immune to it through out the process.
Similarly, when one hurts me for the 1st time, i forgive; for the 2nd time, i was angry, but yet i forgive; for the 3rd time, i was mad, still i forgive... When it comes to the N times, i am immune to it. Well, this is not the first time, probbaly it wil be the last time, I told myself. However, when it comes to the NxN times, i decided to give up, like i gave up on other things. Hm.. It doesnt feel so hard that i thought.. opps, i almost forgotten, i was immune to it through out the process.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Malaysia (JB) Immigration Checkpoint
18th August 2009, Tuesday
Singapore Custom been experiencing system breakdown since yesterday. It was really bad. Yesterday evening my colleague, Chloe and I tried to squeeze into bus kilang to get back to JB.. However, instead of squeezing into the bus, we were pushed out by the crowd and I nearly fell down..
However, comparing to JB checkpoint.. I would say that JB checkpoint is experiencing system breakdown almost everyday!! or even more significantly during weekend and public holiday!!
Besides the "excellent design" of the checkpoint building and routing planning, which is horribly poor, most of the officers doesn't seems to respect their principle and/or work ethic!!
If you have a chance to experience, please take note of a A4 or A5 size paper stick at the side of each counter, where the officer place their big buttock. The 5 words shown in the paper : pandang (look), senyum (smile), ucap (greet), khidmat (service), terima kasih (thank). Seriously, i don know whether this message is to show the visitors, citizens, or the custom officers??
Sometimes i really doubt --- could the officers confirm that they are scanning the right passport, when they don even look at me at all??
Here is another joke... I normally take cab back from Bugis to JB after my Saturday duty (once a month).. because JB checkpoint suffer the most horrible massive conjested traffic (human and vehicles) during Saturday. One day, when i took the cab with other strangers, the officer told one of the man that his passport is black-listed. I believe when he says "black-listed", he meant that the man are not allowed to leave Malaysia with that passport (legally).. However, the man is actually on his way back to Malaysia!! You mean, he is black-listed and not suppose to come back to Malaysia? But his passport was scanned and stamped, by the immigration officer, to leave Malaysia!! So, what is what now? Confusing huh?
Well, no matter what, this is how Malaysia cuture works -- flexible... haha..
However, comparing to JB checkpoint.. I would say that JB checkpoint is experiencing system breakdown almost everyday!! or even more significantly during weekend and public holiday!!
Besides the "excellent design" of the checkpoint building and routing planning, which is horribly poor, most of the officers doesn't seems to respect their principle and/or work ethic!!
If you have a chance to experience, please take note of a A4 or A5 size paper stick at the side of each counter, where the officer place their big buttock. The 5 words shown in the paper : pandang (look), senyum (smile), ucap (greet), khidmat (service), terima kasih (thank). Seriously, i don know whether this message is to show the visitors, citizens, or the custom officers??
Sometimes i really doubt --- could the officers confirm that they are scanning the right passport, when they don even look at me at all??
Here is another joke... I normally take cab back from Bugis to JB after my Saturday duty (once a month).. because JB checkpoint suffer the most horrible massive conjested traffic (human and vehicles) during Saturday. One day, when i took the cab with other strangers, the officer told one of the man that his passport is black-listed. I believe when he says "black-listed", he meant that the man are not allowed to leave Malaysia with that passport (legally).. However, the man is actually on his way back to Malaysia!! You mean, he is black-listed and not suppose to come back to Malaysia? But his passport was scanned and stamped, by the immigration officer, to leave Malaysia!! So, what is what now? Confusing huh?
Well, no matter what, this is how Malaysia cuture works -- flexible... haha..
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Punishment to naughty pets!!
16th August 2009, Sunday
I have worked yesterday (Saturday duty), and got frustrated by the stupid jam in JB custom checkpoint.
I have never like the entire planning and design of JB immigration and checkpoint. Imagine you have to walk a big loop (like you walking one big round) of the giant size building (that's how government spend citizens' money???)
Finally, here come the rest day.. Sunny Sunday.. hehe.. stay at home and see how the naughty dog been punished!! hahha.. These are winky and teng teng.. the new comers in my auntie's house. Ever since they join the family, my uncle has to do extra work at every morning as they enjoy messing up the garden every night!! And the wierd thing is, they are able to do the mess up job so great, even they have been tied up!!
So, my uncle thought of a good idea today to give them a mask instead of tying them. Since he is expert in tying net for his glass float, he would like do similar thing for the dog - mouth - mask. hahha.. here is the output!!
Pic 1: Winky as first trial
Pic 2: Uncle feel pity for his beloved pet, teng teng
I have worked yesterday (Saturday duty), and got frustrated by the stupid jam in JB custom checkpoint.
I have never like the entire planning and design of JB immigration and checkpoint. Imagine you have to walk a big loop (like you walking one big round) of the giant size building (that's how government spend citizens' money???)
Finally, here come the rest day.. Sunny Sunday.. hehe.. stay at home and see how the naughty dog been punished!! hahha.. These are winky and teng teng.. the new comers in my auntie's house. Ever since they join the family, my uncle has to do extra work at every morning as they enjoy messing up the garden every night!! And the wierd thing is, they are able to do the mess up job so great, even they have been tied up!!
So, my uncle thought of a good idea today to give them a mask instead of tying them. Since he is expert in tying net for his glass float, he would like do similar thing for the dog - mouth - mask. hahha.. here is the output!!
Pic 1: Winky as first trial
Pic 2: Uncle feel pity for his beloved pet, teng tengMy dream bed!!
16th August 2009, Sunday
Happen to see this bed in Sunway Pyramid... This is my dream bed!!! Look soft and nice to sleep yeah??? Cost about RM12,000!!! Thought of saving money for this le.. hahha.. However, my handsome brother in law says :" sleep too in deep, until never wake up anymore..." ^^|||
Happen to see this bed in Sunway Pyramid... This is my dream bed!!! Look soft and nice to sleep yeah??? Cost about RM12,000!!! Thought of saving money for this le.. hahha.. However, my handsome brother in law says :" sleep too in deep, until never wake up anymore..." ^^|||
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Request to Ai ling
Ai ling, can you help me to buy this bag??? i need 2!! if there is different colour, then you can choose this colour + another colour (any). if not, just buy 2 of the same colour.
Thank you very very very much.
p/s: this bag can be fold. muahahha.. so it will not occupy lots of space.. haha..
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
New Look of My blog..
07th August 2009, Friday
Here is the new look of my blog. hahaha.. kinda happy with it.. suits me more.. after all, i am not those refined type of gal.. haha..
It's going to be a long weekend.. Sunday is the Singapore National Day & Monday is the Public Holiday.. Knowing that today will be the "long Q day" for checkpoint, I have actually ask for early release (time off) from my management, but it was not approved!!! argh...
Decided to take cab instead of bus. No intention to take risk. refuse to spoil my Friday mood like that. well, lucky me.. the traffic wasn't that bad for cars.. i manage to reach JB by 730pm.. ;)
Hm. thinking to cut my hair short. Tired taking care of long hair. It is too heavy and i have no extra energy to take care of it anymore... Frens.. comments??
Here is the new look of my blog. hahaha.. kinda happy with it.. suits me more.. after all, i am not those refined type of gal.. haha..
It's going to be a long weekend.. Sunday is the Singapore National Day & Monday is the Public Holiday.. Knowing that today will be the "long Q day" for checkpoint, I have actually ask for early release (time off) from my management, but it was not approved!!! argh...
Decided to take cab instead of bus. No intention to take risk. refuse to spoil my Friday mood like that. well, lucky me.. the traffic wasn't that bad for cars.. i manage to reach JB by 730pm.. ;)
Hm. thinking to cut my hair short. Tired taking care of long hair. It is too heavy and i have no extra energy to take care of it anymore... Frens.. comments??
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
孟子·告子下
故天将降大任于斯人也，必先苦其心志，劳其筋骨，饿其体肤，空乏其身，行拂乱其
所为，所以动心忍行，增益其所不能
谁说我不会? 简单简单啦！！ 哈哈。。
此句取于孟子的 -- 告子下。。
所为，所以动心忍行，增益其所不能
谁说我不会? 简单简单啦！！ 哈哈。。
此句取于孟子的 -- 告子下。。
舜发于畎亩之中，傅说举于版筑之中，胶鬲举于鱼盐之中，管夷吾举于士，孙叔敖举
于海，百里奚举于市。
故天将降大任于是人也，必先苦其心志，劳其筋骨，饿其体肤，空乏其身，行拂乱
其所为，所以动心忍性，曾益其所不能。
人恒过，然后能改；困于心，衡于虑，而后作；征于色，发于声，而后喻。入则无
法家拂士，出则无敌国外患者，国恒亡。
然后知生于忧患，而死于安乐也。
译文如下:-
舜从田野之中被任用，傅说从筑墙工作中被举用，胶鬲从贩卖鱼盐的工作中被举用，
管夷吾从狱官手里释放后被举用为相，孙叔敖从海边被举用进了朝廷，百里奚从市
井中被举用登上了相位。
所以上天将要降落重大责任在这样的人身上，一定要道先使他的内心痛苦，使他的
筋骨劳累，使他经受饥饿，以致肌肤消瘦，使他受贫困之苦，使他做的事颠倒错乱，
总不如意，通过那些来使他的内心警觉，使他的性格坚定，增加他不具备的才能。
人经常犯错误，然后才能改正；内心困苦，思虑阻塞，然后才能有所作为；这一切
表现到脸色上，抒发到言语中，然后才被人了解。在一个国内如果没有坚持法度的
世臣和辅佐君主的贤士，在国外如果没有敌对国家和外患，便经常导致灭亡。
这就可以说明，忧愁患害可以使人生存，而安逸享乐使人萎靡死亡。
也就是说， 人嘛， 如果要有所成就/作为/收获， 就必须先经历磨炼和承受挫折/失
败。
对不对啊?
聪明不聪明啊?
嘻嘻
Mental illness..
4th August 2009, Tuesday
I am sick. I am definitely sick.
Certainly is not H1N1, H2N2 .... .... (well, i hope it is not.. I mean, i have slight cough for few days.. Well, even though that media says 90% of people having flu are H1N1 carrier.. but doesn't mean that i have to be that 90%, right??)
Yup. i am depress. all the time!! my breakfast time, my lunch hour, my precious dinner time, and my "pu pu" moment.. I am not happy... sigh... Yupe, i have sigh a lot recently...
Correct, i am facing some problems-ss-ss in my relationship right now.. Got stuck here. Don know what to do.. Tried to seek for advice... Well.. obviously i don have many female friends that would like to give me a "wise" word in my blog (gals are born to be shy, they don announce, they whisper ;)).. My male friends shows me how i should accept and bow down to the fact that "men are all LIKE THAT ------ LIKE WHAT??? selfish and heartless???"..
Opps.. i should not say that.. at least, three of my very best male friend did put down notes to advice me, as i ask for. The answer is not what i want it to be, but i knew that they are just trying to give me the truthful words... so.. thanks to all of you, turtle, CKC & shy shy guy.
Back to topic. I am sick ever since my relationship has gone "ill".. Lesser happiness, more arguments; lesser laughter, more tears & loneliness.. Tried very hard to rescue the relationship.. but somehow, which i don not know How, it went "crooked"... CROOKED???hm... how ar??
thinking to give up already. cannot bear with the stress being unhappy most of the time. but... but.. how? it is always easier to say than to do.
Sigh again.. give me more time. the decision shall be out soon. good or bad, i need support from you all.
love all.
I am sick. I am definitely sick.
Certainly is not H1N1, H2N2 .... .... (well, i hope it is not.. I mean, i have slight cough for few days.. Well, even though that media says 90% of people having flu are H1N1 carrier.. but doesn't mean that i have to be that 90%, right??)
Yup. i am depress. all the time!! my breakfast time, my lunch hour, my precious dinner time, and my "pu pu" moment.. I am not happy... sigh... Yupe, i have sigh a lot recently...
Correct, i am facing some problems-ss-ss in my relationship right now.. Got stuck here. Don know what to do.. Tried to seek for advice... Well.. obviously i don have many female friends that would like to give me a "wise" word in my blog (gals are born to be shy, they don announce, they whisper ;)).. My male friends shows me how i should accept and bow down to the fact that "men are all LIKE THAT ------ LIKE WHAT??? selfish and heartless???"..
Opps.. i should not say that.. at least, three of my very best male friend did put down notes to advice me, as i ask for. The answer is not what i want it to be, but i knew that they are just trying to give me the truthful words... so.. thanks to all of you, turtle, CKC & shy shy guy.
Back to topic. I am sick ever since my relationship has gone "ill".. Lesser happiness, more arguments; lesser laughter, more tears & loneliness.. Tried very hard to rescue the relationship.. but somehow, which i don not know How, it went "crooked"... CROOKED???hm... how ar??
thinking to give up already. cannot bear with the stress being unhappy most of the time. but... but.. how? it is always easier to say than to do.
Sigh again.. give me more time. the decision shall be out soon. good or bad, i need support from you all.
love all.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Quiz for guys...
2nd August 2009, Sunday
Certainly it has been awhile.. ok.. real long since my last update.. i have been busy ok.. well, i have tender my resignation already.. and hence, i am now busy doing up all my final submission and to hand over.. so.. now got more excuses huh?? hahha..
Btw, to all my male friends.. a little quiz for you all...
when your gf and/or spouse cries, what will you do:
a) kiss her and tell her that you love her. whatever it is, you will stand by with her and overcome all the hard time with her
b) tell her not to cry, be nice to her, comfort her.. because you know that you are the trouble maker
c) tell her you are sorry for making her cry. but you don mean to, and ask for forgiveness
d) show her the frustration look and ask her why is she crying
e) just keep quiet to avoid yourself getting into more trouble. and/or tells her that you need timeto think what is going on wrong, but you knew you will NEVER have time to think about it!!
If your answer is (a), (b) or (c). please call a man named AL and tell him that this is the way, THE FUcking RIGHT way to treat your loves one.
If your answer is (d) or (e), well.. pls do tell me if you are still in love with ur gf or this partner of yours.. if not, well, just stop being that bloody selfish and let her go find her happiness!!
Certainly it has been awhile.. ok.. real long since my last update.. i have been busy ok.. well, i have tender my resignation already.. and hence, i am now busy doing up all my final submission and to hand over.. so.. now got more excuses huh?? hahha..
Btw, to all my male friends.. a little quiz for you all...
when your gf and/or spouse cries, what will you do:
a) kiss her and tell her that you love her. whatever it is, you will stand by with her and overcome all the hard time with her
b) tell her not to cry, be nice to her, comfort her.. because you know that you are the trouble maker
c) tell her you are sorry for making her cry. but you don mean to, and ask for forgiveness
d) show her the frustration look and ask her why is she crying
e) just keep quiet to avoid yourself getting into more trouble. and/or tells her that you need timeto think what is going on wrong, but you knew you will NEVER have time to think about it!!
If your answer is (a), (b) or (c). please call a man named AL and tell him that this is the way, THE FUcking RIGHT way to treat your loves one.
If your answer is (d) or (e), well.. pls do tell me if you are still in love with ur gf or this partner of yours.. if not, well, just stop being that bloody selfish and let her go find her happiness!!
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