感恩，因为有你，我的小芊乐。。

小乐乐一直是我的快乐。。因为我只有那么一个女儿，而且我们相处的时间很长，所以我和她的感情，和对儿子们的感情，是有一定的差距。。😊😊

对小乐乐，我也没有特别的要求，只要见到她快乐健康，我就不由自主的感恩。。小乐乐明年将要开始上学，奶奶也急促地要求她得学会自己上厕所。不过，我还是没特别的训练她，想着让她慢慢地学会。。

大概有一个月了吧，练一练，歇一歇，妈妈也没什么尽力。。直到昨天和今天，她都自己拿potty来解决她的大小号。。妈妈简直感动爆了！为什么有一个那么贴心的宝宝，不用妈妈操心，就自己学会了那么多东西。。太感恩了。。

Life of a happy mom

My children enjoy their cycling time or play time everyday. Really glad that hub has got a big garden for the children to play.. Appreciate everything I have now..

Children, please don't grow up so fast...

Today before bed, Benji accidentally spill water on to the mattress.. I got no choice but to ask them sleep at their own room ( they have been sleeping with us).. I moved out the two mattress to air dry, and settled them in their bedroom.. When I walk back to my bedroom.... Oh gosh my bedroom is so empty.. Immediately there is a thought into my mind.. I don want them to grow up so fast, I don want them to sleep in their own room.. I am afraid.. I am not ready! I want them with me, despite of their noise (+ my scream) every night without fail.. 

Oh my children, please stay the way u are now.. Don't grow up so fast.. I want to spend more time with u all.. Please allow me to have more time to love u all, pamper u all... 

Children, do remember this moment, when u still enjoy hearing me say I love u, and u are not shy to express ur love to ur mum.. I love u all, forever..

Wefie at Lilian's wedding

老公，生日快乐

Chinese New Year celebration at mom's house 2015

Charles loves Kor Kor's Thomas bag

Is it time to send Charles to school?

Merry Christmas 2012!!!

Me and Charles discharged from the hospital on 22 Dec 2012. Charles was diagnosed with mild jaundice during discharge.

Charles first checkup was scheduled on the xmas eve, 24 Dec, i was so worried that his jaundice will be worsen and he has to readmit to the hospital again on the xmas eve.

during the checkup, the doctor advised to do a blood test to confirm the jaundice level. it was just at the border. and no admission is required. Phiew... what a relief... well done Charles!!!

Christmas day... one of my favourite festive day in the year... although i am blessed enough to have Charles with me (even just in the hotel room). Alvin is kind enough to bring benji to me. it is really kind of him to bring benji to me, all by himself.. i know it is not easy to handle alone. this boy is too smart to be handled as a 2 years old toddler.

i am glad to have alvin the Santa and Benji & Charles with me on the Christmas day...

 

Charles Lee

welcome Charles (^.^)

slightly deviate from the original plan, me and alvin came in singapore on 18 Dec evening. initially i planned to come earlier and stay in my uncle's place.. but i couldn't bear to leave benji.. this is the first time that i am going to be away from him for so many days...

we arrive singapore on 18 Dec late evening.. we went for a dinner, somewhere near my uncle's house.. then went back to rest.. i was very excited and nervous.. wake up at 3am without alarm and couldn't fall sleep again..

we arrived at hospital at about 445am. settle the admission, the nurse bring us and prepared me for the cesarean. i waited till 630am before i was directed to the operation room. i was very nervous due to the past epidural experience.. it wasn't painful, it's just that i am not comfortable having people doing things at my back... and i totally have no control of it.. another thing that i was nervous about is the stitching process after baby is out from my tummy. i dislike the feeling that i have no control over things happening on me and there is nothing that i can do about it.

the operation started at 710am (when the doctor first cut on me). alvin walked in. i was completely glad to see him. i mean, at that time. i know i may not have courage to do all these all by myself without him. and throughout the whole pregnancy, this is the 1st time that i feel he really standby me and supported me. alvin knew my fear, he comfort me by touching my forehead.. his touches really calm me down.

726am, that's the time i first hear Charles scream.. the cries melted my heart... just like 2 years back when benji came to my life.. the nurse bring charles to me, allow me to carry him awhile.. i could feel his soft cheek when i kissed him. he is a beautiful and healthy baby... (^_^)

alvin left with charles to witness the nurses clean him up and register him. i am alone again. i try to control my mind so that i wont be beaten up by the fear of "stitching process". luckily my doctor really do it real fast.. the whole process was completed by 810am.

when i was sent back to my room, alvin waited there. honestly, i have to say... his appearance does comfort me a lot. i may really having difficulty to do this on my own.. >.<

counting down to welcome Charles

I am still in the office at this time.. i know i should not...

i am supposed to be counting down for Charles delivery.

I am super excited to welcome charles...

everynight before i sleep, i will think....

• would charles look like benji?
• will benji love didi or jealous with didi?
• would charles be lovely as benji? or he will be a cheeky one...
• how will the two brother react when they first meet?
• ......
• ..........
• .............

a lot of imagination and question keep pooping up from my mind.. i know i have been bothering alvin a lot for those silly questions... haha.. but it is really a weird feeling compared to first pregnancy... i have not been thinking so much before i rest from work. now i have too much time to think of so much... =S

well, i am really well prepared to welcome charles now..

• clothes - checked
• diaper - checked
• baby cot - checked
• milk bottle - checked (even though i planned for latch on breast feeding)
• hotel booking while waiting for his passport - checked
• etc etc - all checked

charles, just come join our family on 19 Dec morning.. u will gain the love from papa, mama and gor gor.. we will shower you with plenty of love and care.. mummy can't wait to see you soon....

love you.........

love you.... mama

i had insomnia last night... the aircon was too cold and i couldn't sleep well coz of sensitive nose...

i woke up and switch off the air con.

benji feel warm and started to roll around the bed.. he is awake too..

i have no choice but to turn on the air con again.

benji asked for milk. i fed him.

he still couldn't sleep. keep rolling and playing with his favorite "臭臭", with his eye open...

i was chit chating with my hubby, the man who doesn't sleep at night,... =.=!!

then suddenly i heard benji say.... "love you.................... ma ma.........."

my heart melted........... 

he normally love his papa... i din expect him to say mama last night.....

with this, i think is worth it to do anything and everything for my darling....

benji darling, mama love to  you is endless and invincible.. 

mama will love u forever...  

Esther's wedding

We attended my youngest sister's wedding on 21 oct 2012. Not many photos taken as i was kinda tired.. manage to take 2 photo with angeline in the dinner..

Count down to 19 Dec 2012

Wow Wow.. cannot imagine that I am on 32 weeks pregnant now...

I feel myself a bad mummy!

• I have not been taking care of benji for the 1st 3 months of my pregnancy due to nausea and tireness.
• I am on relax mode now.. and avoiding handling benji alone.....
• I have not been recording my bb's development!
• I have not been controlling my diet in this pregnancy....
• I have not decide bb's name! his name is benji di di or baby as for now... =.=!!

Argh!!! i feel myself so useless and the guilt in me cause nightmares when i sleep.... :(

one night i dreamt that baby is born premature and he is dark skin (not catergorised in the white white fat fat group), and refuse to drink milk...

then i got nightmare that i had contraction in a massive traffic jam and no direction to go!!

gosh.. stress stress....

19 Dec 2012 is only about 1.5 months away.. i hope it will be a smooth delivery (ceserean thou)....

baby, mummy loves you as much as i love benji.. stay in mummy's belly till then ok??

End of the breastfeeding story......

I have officially stop breastfeeding start from today!!!

As if today, i have manage to breast feed benji for 1 year and 7 days (372 days). Though i cannot say that i have remarkable results, but I am truly proud of myself & benji.. It is absolutely not easy to be a breastfeeding working mother, especially I have to travel ~1.5 hours to/from work (total 3 hours).

The journey is hard, but i am glad that i have made it. My initial target was 6 months, then 9 months, then I have mange to go to 1 year!

Thanks to all my friends who have given me lots & lots of advice & encouragement.. without you all, my benji would not grow fat fat white white like that.

Thanks to benji, whom has given me the most courage when he 1st suck my nipple as if he is telling me "mama, i know how to do it, don worry.. we are going to work well on this".... i still remember my first time bf benji, i was so touch by the bonding feel that i have never felt before.. it's simply amazing!

Thinking of ending breastfeeding, I really feel upset about it. I am too used to having benji in my arms, making me feel that how much he needs me... But Benji has too many things to focus on and learn about.. We must move on from here...

I am really grateful that benji is well adapting to the solid (in fact, he loves to eat). and with the remaining limited stock of breast milk I have stored, hopefully benji can adapt to the formula milk soon... But Benji has never let me down.. And I have confident that he will going to show a another wonder!

Happie 4th week!

Happy full month benji..

Time flies. Benji is now 4th weeks already

Today we bring him to see doctor for 2nd Hepatitis B vaccine

He is now 4.1kg & 56.5cm.

I am proud. My effort is not wasted.

Benjamin Lee

Just to share some of my darling's photo...